A different reality
Life update - unemployment week 3!
Life has been slow here recently. This is week three of unemployment and it’s starting to feel quite natural. The 9-5 grind feels so artificial, the office politics so far away.
Two weeks ago I had a check-in with my functional doctor to go over my recent lab tests and she told me that some of my tiredness and brain fog is likely due to burnout. My cortisol levels are preeeetty low, depleted by chronic stress. And though I’ve been trying to live the slow life for a year now, I’m coming out of almost 20 years of corporate work (some jobs more stressful than others) and I’m sure that being with my bi-polar drink-happy ex for way too long has also taken its toll.
So this break is coming at a good time.
Somebody recently asked me what I do all day now. I’m somewhere between ‘going with the flow’ and scheduling time for things that I have been wanting to do but never had the time for. Like exploring new-to-me places in town for lunch. Trying different recipes. Focusing on my health and going to the gym more regularly for strength training.
For me, it’s always been true that I need to plan a few things out as otherwise they’re unlikely to happen. But I’ve been really working hard to leave some blank spaces and give myself some freedom, too. For somebody who likes planning and and being productive, this is how I usually feel about ‘the flow’:
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
So it’s definitely been a process!
It’s been a difficult-for-me-decision, but my mind and body need a break and I have decided to give myself a grace period of a few more months to figure out my next step. Going back into the corporate world the same way I have been in the last two decades doesn’t feel sustainable.
In this pocket of freedom I have found myself naturally gravitating towards creative projects. Finishing the coffee bar project (previously a pantry), building a sculptural side table, working with natural wood for a mobile and trying my hand at concrete pouring for an entry table. Maybe I’ll even get back to finishing the second punch needle wall rug that I started about a year ago.
I have gotten friendly with my local lumber yard, been making connections with my neighborhood walking group. Gotten more matchas at the local coffee shop. And most importantly - spent a lot of time offline.
It feels like I’m more connected to the real life instead of being holed up behind my computer screen by myself for most of the day. I feel like I have shifted into a different reality, the OG. It’s a land where anxiety is low. I like it here.
In the age of AI and automation, going back to the basics feels like a reprieve. A luxury. Living a life, undocumented but real. And I’m excited to explore more of it.
Enjoy every moment of your grace period. It is a precious time to reset yourself, I had the privilege to have it a few years ago and it was great.
As a guy who received his last paycheck in 2010, and has been happily retired, I understand your situation. I am in command of every day. I presume that you have been investing/setting aside money regularly for 20 or so years, and finance is not a worry. You are talented, perceptive and honest. You’ll do all right, kiddo.